{"title":"Super Rude","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor when the gloves come off.\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/mantrum.png?v=1792792094\" alt=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"the-numbers-game-mug","title":"The \"Numbers Game\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNothing says \"I tolerate you\" quite like a beautifully disguised insult. Featuring a gorgeous, delicate floral arrangement and a devastating bait-and-switch—a romantic \"Words can't express how beautiful you are...\" up top, followed by a quiet, ruthless \"...but numbers can: 4\/10\" underneath. This mug is a masterclass in humbling someone while maintaining a perfectly pleasant aesthetic.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for gifting to a frenemy, leaving in the office Secret Santa exchange, or just keeping at your desk to remind everyone that confidence is great, but delusion is annoying.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds exactly enough coffee to wash down the bitter pill you just forced them to swallow.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Sturdy enough to survive being aggressively shoved back across the table when they finally finish reading the fine print.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because dealing with their bruised ego is exhausting enough; you shouldn't have to wash dishes by hand, too.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The pretty flowers and crushing rating won't fade away, ensuring they never forget exactly where they stand on the scale.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. A perfectly average, unremarkable size. You know, like a 4\/10.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eHumble them. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50801592762416,"sku":"c0ac9fca-c7a7-4a33-9e16-3a5fcf6023f7","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50801592795184,"sku":"b41dd625-50b5-48f4-81ae-3adae778a8c0","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50801592827952,"sku":"b5fc95a5-ebbd-4784-8991-cf07cab964da","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50801592860720,"sku":"557b1e70-fcf8-44e7-83fd-8aa1722daa74","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50801592893488,"sku":"530d95fa-d6f2-4bad-a0f4-66665b6fb049","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50801592926256,"sku":"263e4b0c-8500-46e6-8b8e-14afbab0c343","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/bf612742-dffa-4dfc-baab-b02aeab4c0d3.png?v=1792967810"},{"product_id":"the-mantrum-mug","title":"The \"Mantrum\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWe’ve all witnessed it:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e a grown man stomping his feet,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e raising his voice,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and losing his mind because he can’t find his keys,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e lost a video game,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e or received constructive feedback.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of a man having a full-blown adult meltdown and the essential public safety hazard notice—\"WARNING:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Mantrum in Progress\"—this mug is the ultimate warning label for fragile masculinity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk for when your boss inevitably blows a fuse over an email, or slide it quietly across the counter to your partner when he gets personally victimized by a minor inconvenience.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to keep you deadpan while a fully grown adult acts like a toddler who got their juice box taken away.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Sturdy enough to survive being set down next to a slammed desk or a punched wall.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because managing an adult’s emotional dysregulation is exhausting enough; you certainly shouldn't have to wash dishes by hand, too.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The warning sign won't fade, no matter how many times he insists he \"isn't yelling, he's just passionate.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold directly in front of your face to block out the noise.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eSend him to time-out. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50861628522544,"sku":"c990d2ba-2de5-46e8-9725-9bcd615157fb","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50861628555312,"sku":"3d635f51-d22d-4423-8b15-9092730b3918","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50861628588080,"sku":"a8f01902-c408-4c4d-b521-0c18345ce941","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50861628620848,"sku":"5923b6d2-2590-483f-8f0a-208ac937f01c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50861628653616,"sku":"020c27d0-f06e-4e25-97e4-1aeca54bb69e","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50861628686384,"sku":"1c5544a0-f165-4eba-97d7-409e3996082c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/917e7d8a-dbc5-4f28-9b54-4cde692bf3e5.png?v=1792977214"},{"product_id":"the-battle-of-wits-mug","title":"The \"Battle of Wits\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSave your breath and spare your remaining brain cells.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Trying to explain basic logic to someone who is completely ill-equipped for thought is a losing game.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a delightfully dense illustration and the ultimate intellectual reality check—\"Arguing with a stupid person is like having a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is your daily reminder to disengage before you lower your own IQ.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk during project debriefs, bring it to family dinners, or simply point to it whenever someone starts presenting total nonsense as absolute fact.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough coffee to keep your eyes from rolling completely out of your head while they attempt to construct a sentence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Durable enough to survive being set down heavily when you realize they genuinely don't understand how wrong they are.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because explaining simple concepts over and over is exhausting enough; you certainly shouldn't have to scrub dishes by hand, too.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The cold, hard truth won't fade away—no matter how passionately they argue against it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold in front of your face to hide your look of utter disbelief.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eSave your breath. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862427897904,"sku":"0e288e9b-5f30-43c0-95d2-302586c1ca74","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862427930672,"sku":"79b1df34-5ec0-4616-96c5-81b17786bc90","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862427963440,"sku":"a5e2bc00-8ef8-4151-82fa-87c109d01d60","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862427996208,"sku":"a9a3cbae-7c27-43b0-a346-a66ff9a4d436","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862428028976,"sku":"90cae783-b004-4468-bc34-ed36138be76b","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862428061744,"sku":"f3261153-81db-414b-98d1-120d27925a06","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/4cbc8bf8-449e-428f-b2fe-ff5b0a253798.png?v=1792971662"},{"product_id":"the-pig-wrestling-mug","title":"The \"Pig Wrestling\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStop rolling around in the dirt expecting a breakthrough.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Some people thrive on internet fights,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e office drama,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and circular logic—and you’re only ruining your own day by engaging.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a filthy pair of mud-wrestling pigs and the classic reality check—\"Arguing with stupid people is like mud-wrestling with a pig.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e You both get dirty but the pig enjoys it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is your daily reminder to step out of the ring and let the idiots wallow alone.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk during chaotic team meetings, or hold it up whenever someone tries to drag you into an argument that isn't worth your blood pressure.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to keep you from typing out a 500-word reply to a completely lost cause.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Tough enough to survive being slammed down when you realize someone is entirely immune to basic logic.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because getting covered in metaphorical mud is bad enough; you shouldn't have to wash dishes by hand, too.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The mud-covered swine and cold truth won't fade, no matter how many wallowers try to drag you down.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly proportioned to hold while you watch the disaster from a clean, safe distance.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eStay clean. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862502674480,"sku":"d6907a1d-6884-457d-bcf1-4fb84cf10f0f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862502707248,"sku":"5ab7740e-6162-4ae6-9fde-4c42e721b0fc","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862502740016,"sku":"7d5132cc-c895-48b5-a114-4f023c660e77","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862502772784,"sku":"3990f442-0eff-472e-a5fb-804337f05af8","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862502805552,"sku":"ad8d0b14-082c-42c9-8e4e-0bf6759c29ee","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862502838320,"sku":"2b5ca31e-d5fb-45d9-9037-581bb86c9685","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/e9edbde3-6c96-4f77-80a8-8d5f8257e8cf.png?v=1792971764"},{"product_id":"the-eye-roll-mug","title":"The \"Eye Roll\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGroans are just applause for wordplay genius,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and you wear other people's irritation like a badge of honor.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an exaggerated eye-rolling graphic and the ultimate groaner—\"Bad puns are how Eye Roll.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is for anyone who considers causing collective mental anguish in the breakroom a public service.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSip your dark roast, deliver a terrible joke with zero remorse, and watch the room visibly deflate around you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to power you through the chorus of groans following your latest linguistic atrocity.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Sturdy enough to survive being set down hard when your audience begs you to stop talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because doing dishes by hand is a punishment, and you're the one inflicting the pain here, not receiving it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The graphic won't fade away, unlike the remaining respect your coworkers had for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold in front of your face while you roll your own eyes into another dimension.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eGroan louder. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862620278832,"sku":"7bb6a39a-5e38-4ca9-99e2-e063fea1ddeb","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862620311600,"sku":"d679702a-1b89-4672-b4e7-05969be8a43a","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862620344368,"sku":"1e95eb55-7bf7-492f-966f-44896bd207aa","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862620377136,"sku":"3e376ff4-3c62-456f-98bc-5173fe731fa9","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862620409904,"sku":"2306c739-7ae7-483f-ba06-6972f4737f57","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862620442672,"sku":"5d2d3564-9801-44f6-89b0-f792fb95e85a","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/237d787a-7803-46bf-9083-396586b9fa02.png?v=1793218577"},{"product_id":"the-distant-dying-mug","title":"The \"Distant \u0026 Dying\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePeople love telling you to \"reach for the stars\" or \"shine bright.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" Why?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Stars are cold,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e isolated,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e billions of miles away from human contact,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and slowly collapsing in on themselves.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Sounds like absolute paradise.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a serene shooting star graphic and the ultimate anti-inspirational reminder—\"Be like a star...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e distant and dying.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to anyone who prefers hard boundaries and existential dread over toxic positivity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk to ward off morning chatter, or sip from it while quietly contemplating the vast, peaceful void of deep space.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your slow, predictable burn.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid, cold, and completely unbothered by outside noise.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because doing dishes by hand requires an energy level you haven't possessed in years.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The dark cosmic truth won't fade, even as your social battery completely implodes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold while maintaining a multi-light-year boundary around yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eBurn out in peace. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862654783536,"sku":"053879ab-7c1b-4a18-a071-894efb9aa491","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862654816304,"sku":"16f82b06-87b9-4d78-a974-d5f48a67231b","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862654849072,"sku":"d6d87dde-1c60-439b-b2b1-d987a8f5ec11","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862654881840,"sku":"b95749e2-9315-4b30-8cbc-06e855ccadf3","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862654914608,"sku":"874d46aa-0291-4610-b0b2-ab3e2caae220","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862654947376,"sku":"16682115-0ed2-4aa0-9f55-b79e294541e2","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/8b622a41-02aa-46f5-884c-2b0bad843637.png?v=1792974703"},{"product_id":"the-blow-me-11oz-mug","title":"The \"Blow Me\" 11oz Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eMake a wish.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Better yet,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e make an exit.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a deceptively innocent dandelion seed head and the ultimate double-entendre—\"Blow me.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug turns a sweet botanical motif into an immediate,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unmistakable boundary.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSip from it during endless morning meetings, or keep it on your desk so everyone knows exactly what to do with their unsolicited opinions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to blow off every single tedious request coming your way today.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Sturdy enough to survive being slammed down when someone takes your politeness for weakness.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because scrubbing dishes by hand is for people with patience, and yours blew away hours ago.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The delicate dandelion graphic and blunt command won't fade away, no matter how many times you wash it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold in front of your face while you quietly disengage from the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eMake a wish. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862660747312,"sku":"3d89505c-3a1a-4be7-9a46-27b5c94be09e","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862660780080,"sku":"e66f98b9-2876-4134-8261-c780f6d1a327","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862660812848,"sku":"428f72d0-2141-4644-b763-f911a753258d","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862660845616,"sku":"3fc19d36-3fa7-4a48-bf5b-ffb8ed011903","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862660878384,"sku":"3d41e99c-5765-47d1-81d9-2f7e1dcda7b3","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862660911152,"sku":"2e70f2ec-6c8e-493d-85c4-099fdd984026","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/040ceb01-f8d5-4e7b-9a8a-306ce18f0193.png?v=1793218520"},{"product_id":"the-bonus-points-mug","title":"The \"Bonus Points\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNodding along to a story you couldn't care less about takes real discipline,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and frankly,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e that level of fake enthusiasm should come with extra compensation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a tacky \"BONUS\" sticker graphic and the ultimate workplace performance question—\"Do I get bonus points if I pretend to give a shit?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is for anyone who treats basic polite listening like an incentive-based program.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBring it to your next 1-on-1 meeting, or keep it on your desk so your manager knows that your fake empathy comes at a steep premium.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to power you through a 45-minute monologue about a stranger's weekend home improvement project.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Tough enough to survive being set down heavily when a meeting extends way past its scheduled end time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because doing uncompensated labor is where you draw the line; handwashing dishes is strictly out of the question.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The bright sticker graphic won't fade, even if your willingness to simulate interest vanished years ago.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold while casually checking the clock over someone's shoulder.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eClaim your prize. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862665203760,"sku":"ead68d0a-254f-48fb-99ca-ec41f9fa29fa","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862665236528,"sku":"50f5961b-8999-4f81-9a14-60d1d9693ea1","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862665269296,"sku":"1a77f423-c583-4310-914f-4025c2bc5d12","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862665302064,"sku":"41075430-34c1-4ce6-8293-66c228b1d3fb","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862665334832,"sku":"404e424d-0477-4f22-8df7-cf865bc66365","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862665367600,"sku":"d930e232-8f71-4a92-b230-99768c6e2688","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/d01e5cc3-4c5b-4c03-a755-7bb642e5e3dd.png?v=1793219138"},{"product_id":"the-wed-both-be-wrong-mug","title":"The \"We'd Both Be Wrong\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCompromise is great—unless it requires you to nod along with an absolute idiot.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a brain crossed out with a glaring red X and the ultimate shut-down—\"I would agree with you,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e but then we'd BOTH be wrong.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is your first line of defense against terrible ideas and flawed logic.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it front and center during staff meetings, or hold it up anytime someone asks for your validation on a completely brain-dead takes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to keep you standing firm while they desperately attempt to defend their nonsensical argument.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Tough enough to withstand being set down hard when you refuse to entertain a bad opinion.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because validating nonsense is exhausting enough; wasting your time handwashing dishes is where you draw the line.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The red X and cold reality won't fade away, no matter how hard they try to debate you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold in front of your face while you let the silence do the heavy lifting.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eStay right. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862680866864,"sku":"a4ad1c11-899d-4e36-b8c5-4b588439a778","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862680899632,"sku":"da87df92-9df8-48bb-8ffe-163faf514ded","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862680932400,"sku":"dbe2043f-3e94-49bd-ab09-4b5216254b3c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862680965168,"sku":"9cc8de51-3797-42d0-a87c-ae355d9758e7","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862680997936,"sku":"be763271-a8ce-4e6b-a25c-bbc7ed989e84","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862681030704,"sku":"12ca3120-4771-4004-9b74-48944a6bf0c1","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/e47cbb56-d0a7-4d72-9888-dcf27acee5cc.png?v=1792974451"},{"product_id":"the-zero-spark-mug","title":"The \"Zero Spark\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSome people walk around with an absolute void between their ears and an unbelievable amount of unearned confidence.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a bundle of explosive dynamite sticks and a vintage burn—\"If brains were dynamite,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e you couldn't blow your nose.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is for anyone who has completely run out of tolerance for sheer,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unadulterated stupidity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk as a public hazard warning, or sip from it while watching a coworker struggle with basic instruction labels.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to keep your face completely neutral while waiting for the single solitary neuron in their head to fire.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Built sturdy enough to survive being set down heavily when you realize they genuinely didn't understand the insult.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because dealing with a total lack of intellectual wattage is exhausting enough; you certainly shouldn't have to wash dishes by hand, too.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The sticks of TNT and brutal reality check won't fade away, no matter how many brain cells you lose listening to them.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold in front of your face while you wait for the room to catch up.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eCut the fuse. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862701019184,"sku":"611f7000-83b4-4631-a369-2881096290a2","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862701051952,"sku":"24247903-d7c2-41a5-a37b-f390c9c44f07","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862701084720,"sku":"5ed47c39-3093-4958-bc0e-57965abefe4d","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862701117488,"sku":"51c5a9a8-365b-4304-8926-d16d061ab9a7","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862701150256,"sku":"dbb62762-bd02-4834-9447-fcc8b238cf16","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862701183024,"sku":"96f261e6-cb3a-4246-97bf-ed319deb88da","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/45441abe-2ed0-4d42-af3a-7a88fb9a674b.png?v=1792968787"},{"product_id":"the-cactus-expert-mug","title":"The \"Cactus Expert\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou don't need a degree in botany to identify someone who is thoroughly unpleasant to be around.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a sharp little potted succulent and the ultimate botanical observation—\"I'm no cactus expert,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e but I know a prick when I see one.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is made for anyone with a finely tuned radar for toxic energy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk aimed directly at your micromanaging boss, or sip from it during family gatherings whenever \u003ci\u003ethat\u003c\/i\u003e specific relative decides to open their mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to get you through an interaction with someone who bristles at the slightest inconvenience.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and completely spike-free—unlike the person you're glaring at over the rim.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because dealing with prickly personalities takes enough energy; handwashing dishes is strictly out of the question.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The sharp cactus graphic and blunt truth won't wear off, no matter how abrasive the room gets.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to help you maintain a very strict, zero-contact personal boundary.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eMind the spikes. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862709964848,"sku":"33db83b0-f6be-46b2-9378-c59f2be49704","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862709997616,"sku":"53145368-6b8c-4f1a-a687-60e9656367d9","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862710030384,"sku":"19189791-5108-42b4-a9ae-7ddc7b41b78b","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862710063152,"sku":"cb0c0a9c-ba99-439d-9111-b7586bef751f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862710095920,"sku":"604a0de0-4ea2-409f-a35b-8e4681963700","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862710128688,"sku":"9e18e309-73b8-4369-9e7b-7418b1ad2929","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/6b675e98-a1d8-47cf-9a4f-4e6d95546c40.png?v=1792970488"},{"product_id":"the-thought-you-knew-mug","title":"The \"Thought You Knew\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCats have a unique way of expressing total disregard—usually by turning around,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e raising their tail,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and strutting away.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Channel that exact level of unapologetic truth-telling with a graphic of a feline walking away and a fake apology—\"I'm sorry I called you an asshole...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e I thought you knew.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" It's not an insult if it's just a confirmed,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e widely accepted diagnosis.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for sipping your morning dark roast during a tense meeting, or gifting to that one friend who refuses to apologize for stating the obvious.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain you while someone slowly processes the news that they are, in fact, the problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, sturdy, and completely unbothered by anyone's hurt feelings.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because apologizing for telling the truth is ridiculous, and so is washing dishes by hand.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The feline attitude and brutally honest statement won't fade away, no matter how much they try to scrub it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold in front of your face while you turn around and walk away.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eState the obvious. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862721794096,"sku":"9a22ed75-8eb7-4133-aeaa-8ef9d70859af","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862721826864,"sku":"990d56f5-08e7-4611-8cd3-0e430bd94191","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862721859632,"sku":"73203e69-fdd4-4f12-8d73-c39f7d937dbc","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862721892400,"sku":"e3f47e94-b200-4236-95c0-74fd5505f919","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862721925168,"sku":"5e038334-a6f6-41bf-994b-a3b735153972","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862721957936,"sku":"135d3a0a-03e9-4ee0-9e55-3c6ab9ae2f29","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/7845f0f3-bbca-480b-a0d0-1459762ca4ff.png?v=1792974762"},{"product_id":"the-survival-mug","title":"The \"Survival\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePeople love offering platitudes when you're overwhelmed—\"it gets better,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" \"you've got this,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" or \"everything happens for a reason.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" Here is some actual,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e scientifically undeniable comfort.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a spiking heart monitor readout and the ultimate anti-motivational reality check—\"When life seems dangerous and unmanageable,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e just remember...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e it is,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and you can't survive forever.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to anyone who finds true peace in the complete inevitability of mortality.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSip your dark roast, stop stressing over five-year plans, and take comfort in knowing that every single meeting, bill, and existential crisis has a strict, non-negotiable expiration date.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds just enough caffeine to keep that little heart trace bumping along for another workday.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid and durable—built to last significantly longer than your sense of optimism.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because life is 100% fatal anyway; spending precious, limited time handwashing dishes is a terrible strategy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The EKG readout and bleak perspective won't fade away, even as your mortal coil slowly unwinds.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold in both hands while contemplating the finite nature of existence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eAccept the inevitable. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862766227504,"sku":"9d0abf65-b83e-4c01-8ec9-c998704ed5af","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862766260272,"sku":"30d51f7d-a213-4be9-acbf-060f85401996","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862766293040,"sku":"900631f7-0e11-49ba-800e-dbd97c03905c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862766325808,"sku":"e24b11ee-c353-4fd6-8f26-8c7c79c84bd3","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862766358576,"sku":"105ac20a-d2b8-4d84-b460-6cdc979b4862","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862766391344,"sku":"1e7c29b8-8f96-40e1-a791-81aac145e2f4","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/27ead790-2121-4425-bc77-406f105a03a8.png?v=1792975296"},{"product_id":"the-captain-butthurt-mug","title":"The \"Captain Butthurt\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLook up in the sky!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e It’s a bird!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e It’s a plane!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e No,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e wait—it’s just a fully grown adult actively hunting for a reason to feel personally victimized by a completely neutral email.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of a perpetual grievance collector and his official superhero title—\"Captain Butthurt\"—this mug is the highest honor you can bestow upon the resident expert in unearned outrage.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eKeep it on your desk aimed directly at your thinnest-skinned coworker,\u003c\/span\u003e or sip from it while he prepares a 20-minute presentation on why your tone was a personal attack.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain you through a lecture on how your breathing is micro-aggressive.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Tough enough to withstand being set down near someone currently having an emotional crisis over mild feedback.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because listening to endless complaints is exhausting enough; you certainly shouldn't have to wash dishes by hand, too.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The title of honor won't fade away, unlike his ability to handle basic daily conflict.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold directly in front of your face while he searches for something new to be offended by.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eAward the title. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862781661232,"sku":"3552a574-2426-4b33-a264-8d9937eb876c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862781694000,"sku":"7b7127cd-2239-44cc-a919-3e78f5782cc6","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862781726768,"sku":"7a94f83b-03b8-4b4c-94cd-8a2254bb249d","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862781759536,"sku":"9c18df0f-b468-4574-97dc-f17e8acaa24d","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862781792304,"sku":"bdd530bf-bbc3-4993-9020-3f173fa5ab90","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862781825072,"sku":"fe2cc32f-ffbc-45da-a90b-3a44c976f3f0","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/0dc89d58-70b6-47f7-becf-0df190d5ac0a.png?v=1793218801"},{"product_id":"the-drive-away-mug","title":"The \"Drive Away\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eForget sweet,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e warm,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e or supportive.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Sometimes the best kind of relationship is the one you're actively leaving in your dust.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a sleek car graphic and a dark twist on a classic trope—\"I like my men like I like my coffee...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e sliding off the roof of my car as I drive away.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to anyone who values peace,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e independence,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and a swift getaway.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSip your morning brew before hitting the gas on unnecessary drama, or keep it on your desk as a clear warning that clinginess will be met with immediate acceleration.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to fuel your unannounced, high-speed departure.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Built solid to survive the journey—unlike the mug you actually left on top of the roof.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because looking back in the rearview mirror is a waste of energy, and so is washing dishes by hand.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The graphic won't fade or slide off, no matter how fast you merge onto the highway.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to stay firmly in your hand (and \u003ci\u003einside\u003c\/i\u003e the car).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eHit the gas. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862807253040,"sku":"a62b1044-0123-448a-a088-2a4a4d2ab342","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862807285808,"sku":"8fe4e3bb-9b24-480c-9b32-8d51431897ca","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862807318576,"sku":"40a4a280-7fc4-460b-8033-1c375da9e8a6","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862807351344,"sku":"8421afc1-1e02-4115-b82a-8aebde578990","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862807384112,"sku":"82a1f783-1083-4593-8327-b0551691e0c7","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862807416880,"sku":"625e4928-685d-4082-8ea1-9f25f6a830c6","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/bb60a74c-5674-4cae-885c-ec4797f4af78.png?v=1792975873"},{"product_id":"the-cold-storage-mug","title":"The \"Cold Storage\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eForget \"strong,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e hot,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and rich.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" Real coffee lovers—and true crime enthusiasts—know the best place for their favorite roast is sealed airtight and kept at sub-zero temperatures.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a deceptively wholesome bag of coffee illustration and a sinister dark humor punchline—\"I like my men like I like my coffee...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e ground up and in my freezer.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is for anyone whose taste in humor is as dark as an unlit basement.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSip your morning brew while re-watching your favorite murder mystery, or keep it on your desk to ensure nobody ever asks you out on a blind date again.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeinated fuel to keep you alert while you double-check the lock on the chest freezer.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid, durable, and completely unbothered by cold shoulder reactions from your coworkers.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because maintaining a airtight alibi is exhausting enough; you certainly shouldn't have to scrub dishes by hand.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The dark statement won't fade away, no matter how many times you wash the evidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Compact enough to leave plenty of room on the kitchen counter for the rest of your morning routine.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eKeep it cold. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862896807984,"sku":"8d92f193-5226-4bcc-9938-f958bb2a469d","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862896840752,"sku":"ff04fd7a-5f66-4163-af53-41233655d84b","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862896873520,"sku":"813e8454-5173-4d17-b9e9-e6d94155065f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862896906288,"sku":"01e38d16-131a-4696-8bd7-0e6d5bd96668","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862896939056,"sku":"f26e2927-0053-43e7-aaf1-b852b5540520","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862896971824,"sku":"505bda01-8cd9-4d53-b3f9-ebd74b46be4e","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/31a1685c-beb8-4130-8b14-a2076035aa30.png?v=1792975717"},{"product_id":"the-condescending-mug","title":"The \"Condescending\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNothing beats explaining a basic word to someone who thought they were about to outsmart you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a gloriously snide face and a helpful dictionary definition—\"Don't be condescending.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e (That's when you talk down to people.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e)\"—this mug is the ultimate weapon for preemptively mansplaining condescension to the resident know-it-all.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHold it up when someone asks \"does that make sense?\", bring it to performance reviews, or sip from it while breaking down simple concepts into bite-sized pieces for people who clearly need the assistance.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain you while you slowly spell out five-letter words for fully grown adults.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Tough enough to withstand being set down firmly after explaining how a door handle works.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because over-explaining simple things is exhausting; handwashing (that's cleaning dishes with soap and water) is out of the question.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The smug expression and patronizing lesson won't fade away, no matter how hard they try to ignore it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. (That's roughly 3.8 by 3.1 inches, in case you needed the math done for you.)\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eExplain it slowly. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862918205488,"sku":"7f50483a-0204-40b6-8c67-7f843c3036cb","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862918238256,"sku":"291fa68c-062b-4b09-9bae-79b9c1abe399","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862918271024,"sku":"669422ec-437b-4ae5-828a-bef9d1179711","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862918303792,"sku":"80514489-66e7-4b85-b903-c588a43329ec","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862918336560,"sku":"e1d18fff-fe46-43dc-b20e-0f9c5d4fbdf1","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862918369328,"sku":"fec5fe3d-99de-4ea3-94ea-cf5b072cf9e2","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/897cd8ad-8119-4bdf-b34b-db0643ac2688.png?v=1792969814"},{"product_id":"the-sick-of-your-crap-mug","title":"The \"Sick of Your Crap\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNobody starts out unhinged.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e You didn't wake up one day deciding to snap—you were pushed into it by years of incompetent colleagues,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e ignored boundaries,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and useless commentary.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an all-too-relatable illustration of a woman pulling her hair out and the ultimate origin story—\"Behind every 'crazy bitch' is just a sweet woman who just got sick of everyone's crap.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is your villain origin story in ceramic form.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk during high-stress projects, or hold it up during meetings whenever someone asks why you're being \"difficult\" today.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to keep you from completely snapping when asked a question that could have been an email.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Built tough enough to survive being set down with extreme emphasis after someone pushes your last nerve.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because putting up with everyone's nonsense takes enough energy; handwashing dishes is strictly out of the question.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The frantic graphic and cold truth won't fade away, no matter how chaotic the room gets.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold like a shield between you and whatever fresh hell comes next.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eEmbrace the title. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862980268080,"sku":"f5ef5c30-8f7b-4a95-af60-3cb5e1c8505e","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862980300848,"sku":"212f0c49-e269-4a88-9078-3bdd5beed6a6","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862980333616,"sku":"917d9f57-2478-4c18-9dac-ce26069af45f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862980366384,"sku":"4e9120de-f312-40bb-9916-db58d44f3547","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862980399152,"sku":"1143687b-6143-4f17-b157-fc09ac8d137c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862980431920,"sku":"ba42294a-9f86-465d-a780-8cfd037db1bd","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/6e327070-8ebc-41bc-9a1b-265cb4081485.png?v=1792962914"},{"product_id":"the-tuck-it-in-mug","title":"The \"Tuck It In\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWe all have our internal chaos,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e but some people let their complete unhinged energy spill out into the open with zero self-awareness.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a manic illustration of someone losing their mind and a necessary public service reminder—\"Your crazy is showing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e You may want to tuck that shit back in.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is your go-to polite warning for people who desperately need to get a grip.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk aimed directly at the office conspiracy theorist, or sip from it while a coworker launches into an unprovoked, full-volume meltdown over a minor scheduling tweak.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to maintain a calm, collected exterior while the person across from you completely unspools.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid enough to withstand the erratic energy radiating from whoever you're aiming it at.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because managing other people's sudden public breakdowns takes enough effort; scrubbing dishes by hand is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The unhinged graphic and blunt reality check won't fade away, even if their composure already did.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly proportioned to create a firm boundary between your sanity and their chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eGet a grip. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50863035940912,"sku":"12392356-f35b-4fc7-99c5-1f339470cdb6","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50863035973680,"sku":"5ae90152-2367-498a-9ed4-c5154efba47f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50863036006448,"sku":"e1de8c94-9d24-464c-826c-9eb28231578f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50863036039216,"sku":"734effd5-d45d-4e81-a40e-a5b0d63f2e7a","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50863036071984,"sku":"10fc16a0-e05d-490c-989b-6244271decbf","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50863036104752,"sku":"3231bcf3-09f4-4b53-be87-e9ac8a893d81","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/e9e6128b-ec97-418b-9b94-bb31ea637b6c.png?v=1792974558"},{"product_id":"the-haircut-crisis-mug","title":"The \"Haircut Crisis\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEmpathy is overrated when there's a 90% chance the breakdown is purely superficial.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Next time you spot someone quietly weeping in public,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e don't waste time asking about broken hearts or deep-seated existential trauma—get straight to the root cause.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of a deeply regretful salon victim and the ultimate investigative tip—\"If you see someone crying,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e ask if it's because of their haircut.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is for anyone who prefers practical diagnosis over emotional support.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk for when a coworker returns from a \"quick lunch appointment\" wearing a baseball cap, or sip from it while quietly assessing bangs that should have never been cut.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to power you through the awkward silence following a botched pixie cut.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid and reliable—unlike that \"master stylist\" who swore they knew how to layer.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because dealing with emotional meltdowns is exhausting enough; you certainly shouldn't have to handwash dishes, too.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The tragic salon graphic and cold reality check won't wear off, even if it takes six months for those layers to grow back.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold in front of your face so no one sees you wincing at their new fringe.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eBlame the bangs. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50863177236528,"sku":"96701de7-ab99-4584-baf1-7bbf88ffc498","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50863177269296,"sku":"de616b00-9013-4f86-b78b-01637315cbe6","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50863177302064,"sku":"924c0f9c-f34c-44b5-9657-37dcf4bea02d","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50863177334832,"sku":"e9eded48-b9ed-488c-9c02-80105f2e4b7c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50863177367600,"sku":"03dc8014-81db-4ed7-89ed-a6264072d79d","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50863177400368,"sku":"1a4ce392-1d00-4d5f-891f-4e961a446dd9","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/33f10ff3-2dec-48ae-b779-a58ebdf7e069.png?v=1792968307"},{"product_id":"the-id-be-broke-mug","title":"The \"I'd Be Broke\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePeople love saying \"a penny for your thoughts,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" but in this economy,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e paying even a single dollar for an intelligent contribution from certain people would leave you utterly destitute.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a crisp dollar bill graphic and the ultimate financial reality check—\"If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e I'd be broke.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to the absolute bankruptcy of useful ideas around you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk during endless brainstorming sessions, or sip from it while listening to someone present a \"revolutionary\" solution to a problem they created themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain you through a complete collapse of intellectual wealth in the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid, durable, and worth infinitely more than the combined output of their pitch deck.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because waiting for a coherent thought is exhausting enough; spending energy handwashing dishes is out of the question.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The dollar graphic and brutal financial truth won't fade, no matter how low the room's IQ drops.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly proportioned to hold while you calculate the total cost of listening to bad advice.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eCount your pennies. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50863493087280,"sku":"b7504afd-b844-43e3-93cc-edc70444334e","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50863493120048,"sku":"f4de3345-6e33-475e-938a-96fa73fc07c8","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50863493152816,"sku":"0dbe0317-1ddc-43d0-93c8-801c14dcc98a","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50863493185584,"sku":"befb7449-d400-4b5b-b069-11d89a4312d5","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50863493218352,"sku":"99455ba6-8c71-42a6-bad1-41ee7fc0603c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50863493251120,"sku":"117a3213-4ffe-4a01-ae05-68b74187f367","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/f815343b-0372-411f-b313-53fd0f7c7339.png?v=1792973439"},{"product_id":"the-dumb-is-forever-mug","title":"The \"Dumb Is Forever\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWrinkles happen,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e hair grays,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and youth inevitably slips away—but true,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unadulterated stupidity?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e That is an immortal force.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of peak intellectual deficiency and the ultimate timeless truth—\"Beauty fades; Dumb is forever.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to the people who prove that a complete lack of wisdom only grows stronger with age.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk during client calls, or sip from it while quietly watching a coworker struggle with a basic door that clearly says \"PULL.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your sanity while waiting for a single coherent thought to enter the conversation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid, durable, and possesses significantly more structural integrity than the argument you're currently listening to.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because explaining simple concepts is exhausting enough; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly out of the question.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The graphic and eternal reality check won't fade away, unlike someone's youthful good looks.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold in front of your face while you stare in silent disbelief.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eFace the truth. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50864013541424,"sku":"d68d2c08-d8c5-41d6-b9f7-4f5cd16aa2a4","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50864013574192,"sku":"41fca592-92b6-4816-8b18-3b5b7bb11d2f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50864013606960,"sku":"23e841d4-3e3d-4408-86d3-367210dc417a","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50864013639728,"sku":"49ed9794-21f9-4433-af25-7dc2912a72c1","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50864013672496,"sku":"20bacccd-ae18-4a54-869c-aa347748cd43","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50864013705264,"sku":"96edcf4a-4ac4-4aa2-bf7f-e003fd7ef277","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/d05595d8-6604-4f11-ae3e-378898f5cc74.png?v=1793217569"},{"product_id":"the-emotionally-constipated-mug","title":"The \"Emotionally Constipated\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEmpathy requires a steady flow of mental energy,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and frankly,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e your supply chain has suffered a complete and total blockage.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an ultra-deadpan,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e flat-lined expression and an accurate emotional diagnosis—\"I'm emotionally constipated...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e I haven't given a shit in a while.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to anyone who has completely run out of care to distribute.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk during heavy workplace venting sessions, or sip from it while maintaining a completely blank stare as a coworker waits for an empathetic reaction you simply cannot produce.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your outer shell while your internal care meter stays firmly at zero.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and entirely devoid of emotional responsiveness.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because processing feelings is hard enough; spending time handwashing dishes is strictly out of the question.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The deadpan graphic and medical reality won't fade away, no matter how hard people try to guilt-trip you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold while maintaining absolute, unbothered detachment.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eClear the blockage. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50864070754352,"sku":"9b342c8e-2265-407c-93e6-c8189a1a5307","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50864070787120,"sku":"a67d1039-5263-4bff-8900-be21279249cd","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50864070819888,"sku":"ff80d93b-a096-4899-9adf-a86e3709c00d","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50864070852656,"sku":"411f3767-927a-48c2-aeaa-45588a22df0c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50864070885424,"sku":"e9c01780-b884-44ef-a86c-8b41264d69bb","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50864070918192,"sku":"9e02f43a-07e5-49a8-8d16-f24e2f369f79","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/a32a91df-08b1-4357-b1b7-b9d5aad9fd9b.png?v=1792974927"},{"product_id":"the-barren-field-mug","title":"The \"Barren Field\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLook out upon the vast,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e open horizon of your personal concern for other people's problems.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e What do you see?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Absolutely nothing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a desolate,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e empty plowed field and the iconic Shakespearean-style declaration—\"Behold my field of f*cks,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and see that it is barren.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is a poetic masterpiece dedicated to the total extinction of your empathy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it front and center on your desk during quarterly reviews, or hold it up whenever someone approaches your workstation with a \"quick question\" that isn't remotely your job to answer.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain you while survey results confirm a crop yield of absolute zero.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid, durable, and completely unbothered by the total drought of concern in the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because cultivating fake interest takes work; spending time handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The desolate landscape and literary reality check won't fade away, no matter how many complaints rain down.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold while gazing out into the empty expanse of your caring quota.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eEnjoy the drought. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50864111091760,"sku":"90bc43da-b978-48f4-9ee4-1155aa62dede","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50864111124528,"sku":"36cf4fe4-17fd-4bf6-886d-c44193a48a9d","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50864111157296,"sku":"8f1b5810-a9b7-4712-99d7-9e94849b6ad4","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50864111190064,"sku":"0a7d8de3-97f2-4da4-be49-2fd03b9c28b1","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50864111222832,"sku":"afe08f50-6ee9-4b3a-8353-9f2cc5ca52ae","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50864111255600,"sku":"4a0607ae-e075-4b63-ae88-0a9308e3be70","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/ddf9a15a-db4b-4085-88b0-ea60417bb9c1.png?v=1792968902"},{"product_id":"the-fragile-masculinity-mug","title":"The \"Fragile Masculinity\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHandling delicate items requires grace,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e dexterity,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and patience—three things you certainly don't have to spare when ego is involved.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of a woman casually dropping something and a blunt safety warning—\"I'm too clumsy to be around fragile masculinity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to anyone tired of walking on eggshells around people whose self-esteem shatters at the slightest breeze.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk during cross-departmental meetings, or sip from it while quietly watching a coworker spend 10 minutes explaining why your idea was actually his idea.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain you through another fragile ego meltdown in the breakroom.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid, durable, and shatter-resistant—unlike the paper-thin egos of the people sitting across from you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because handling delicate things with extra care is for someone else; handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The clumsy illustration and sharp warning won't fade or crack, no matter how tense the room gets.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly proportioned to hold firmly so you don't accidentally drop it on someone's delicate feelings.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eHandle with care. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50864156344368,"sku":"1e9c68ca-fe1f-48f8-875e-48613b1835a9","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50864156377136,"sku":"2d28505c-b5e9-4457-9ce0-3283537d8865","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50864156409904,"sku":"aa03475a-4802-469e-be96-f4ed9270bdad","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50864156442672,"sku":"b5e16179-031d-4908-ac5a-1ab0bc1b26ee","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50864156475440,"sku":"3219d4dc-ab4d-4769-834c-1136bae62125","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50864156508208,"sku":"d4ad0078-7ec8-4b3f-b62e-4bff1e644e7f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/9cfcef93-9ddc-42c1-bd6b-8b74fc9c425c.png?v=1792970902"},{"product_id":"the-face-high-five-mug","title":"The \"Face High Five\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePositive reinforcement is great,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e but traditional celebration only goes so far when dealing with absolute incompetence.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a deceptively upbeat illustration of two hands giving a 'high five' and a swift corrective proposal—\"Some people need a high five.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e In the face.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e With a chair.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to those special individuals who inspire violent enthusiasm.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk as a quiet stress-relief exercise during department update meetings, or sip from it while calculating the exact trajectory needed for maximum impact.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeinated patience to keep you from actually rearranging the office furniture.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid, heavy-duty, and significantly sturdier than the composure of whoever just opened their mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because suppressing aggressive urges takes enough energy; handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The high five graphic and brutal solution won't fade, no matter how many people test your limits.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold while quietly breathing through a deep, rage-filled pause.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eApply directly. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50864296984624,"sku":"4cd90683-312e-46d1-9493-65bb226a8239","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50864297017392,"sku":"f67cd644-7548-4a35-92b7-5a2d1552a613","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50864297050160,"sku":"5473c3a8-25f8-4087-ba3f-e38abb6bb822","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50864297082928,"sku":"ba2a4609-96b6-4702-a7fa-e0c0af09bb8c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50864297115696,"sku":"1d85aff8-7ddb-4c38-856c-b724888fb4e4","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50864297148464,"sku":"4e144141-f47a-4236-b73b-25afe16bf426","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/e4944e97-6077-4929-b49d-231abd2bb6ff.png?v=1792970794"},{"product_id":"the-missed-point-mug","title":"The \"Missed Point\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNostalgia and longing are delicate emotions—unless you're comparing your sense of loss to someone's absolute inability to grasp basic concepts.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a clear profile illustration of a literal head full of crap and the ultimate backhanded sentiment—\"I miss you like an idiot misses the point.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is for anyone who appreciates romance with a heavy dose of intellectual condescension.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSend it to an ex, hand it to a friend who always asks \"wait, what?\", or sip from it while watching your team completely misinterpret a single, straightforward instruction.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your patience while re-explaining the exact same concept for the third time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and functioning at a significantly higher cognitive level than the brain printed on the side.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because dealing with slow thinkers is exhausting enough; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The anatomical defect and sharp insult won't fade away, no matter how many times you have to point out the obvious.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold in front of your face while staring blankly at someone who completely missed the mark.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003ePoint it out. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50864369336368,"sku":"420fecfe-b71a-4a59-938c-be84cc07fefb","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50864369369136,"sku":"132775d6-3a07-4021-8562-96a6aa54afcf","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50864369401904,"sku":"a225071c-556a-4eb0-845c-2850fd543420","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50864369434672,"sku":"2768cb16-3589-4d1a-b9b3-14b4ceface07","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50864369467440,"sku":"b57cdbe0-455b-478b-9dfb-fbaff3b89bf9","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50864369500208,"sku":"82fa1a4c-cebb-4091-a31a-c048ae3d28b4","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/b06e5088-14e9-4750-a761-12a483af5509.png?v=1792974354"},{"product_id":"the-accurate-description-mug","title":"The \"Accurate Description\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTruth hurts,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e but accuracy matters.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e When people get offended by your feedback,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e remind them that you aren't throwing insults—you're simply providing an unvarnished,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e fact-based inventory of their actual personality.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a chaotic illustration of two stick men screaming at each other and the ultimate semantic defense—\"I'm not insulting you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e I'm describing you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is for anyone who values technical precision over hurt feelings.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk during performance reviews, or sip from it while a coworker realizes that your \"harsh\" comment was just a spot-on summary of their behavior.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain you through their defensive rant about why your assessment was \"uncalled for.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Built solid and durable—unlike their paper-thin defense arguments.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because stating objective facts is exhausting enough; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The screaming stick figure graphic and cold reality check won't wear off, even if their pride takes a permanent hit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold while calmly watching them attempt to process the truth.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eState the facts. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50865102618672,"sku":"375098d9-291f-4c2e-a2f2-4613b77953cc","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50865102651440,"sku":"10d8d89f-fa3c-43c8-9059-1f7ab981045f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50865102684208,"sku":"9ce2dfd5-795f-4107-a9a3-c2e783b4902b","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50865102716976,"sku":"c53545c4-b7fd-4227-af44-e136ac03b0be","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50865102749744,"sku":"bfa38126-ebd9-4222-92b4-6287600fd85b","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50865102782512,"sku":"4d70042e-b69b-487b-a524-ccdd58b0f953","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/18c88eb0-1f59-4362-b364-c46fdd0ce21a.png?v=1793217374"},{"product_id":"the-axe-of-kindness-mug","title":"The \"Axe of Kindness\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePeople always advise you to \"kill 'em with kindness,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" but sweet-talking your way through an exasperating interaction takes energy,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e restraint,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and an overwhelming amount of patience you simply do not possess.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of a heavy-duty axe and the ultimate equipment reality check—\"I'd kill you with kindness,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e but all I have is this axe.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to practical problem-solving over passive-aggressive etiquette.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk during high-stakes negotiations, or sip from it whenever a coworker tells you to \"turn that frown upside down.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to keep your rage strictly verbal instead of swinging lumberjack tools.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and structurally sound—unlike your remaining patience.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because practicing fake politeness takes enough effort; wasting physical energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The sharp axe graphic and dark alternative won't fade away, no matter how many people test your limits.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically designed to hold firmly with both hands while staring down the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eChoose your tool. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50865643716656,"sku":"18f4978e-c97b-4756-94a7-3471be6e8cd3","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50865643749424,"sku":"c2632446-af92-48fb-852a-8bf78cb06779","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50865643782192,"sku":"982a157c-cd05-4ba2-bce8-87d5ad059d77","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50865643814960,"sku":"6c91ae2d-1901-43fe-9433-b57cbecac3c3","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50865643847728,"sku":"6966b324-fb3a-4499-a472-4bb111a1c081","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50865643880496,"sku":"83ae6c83-2e93-48cd-9536-b485112bc1dc","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/3c0d0c05-cedf-473a-b86e-7aa9c6c32a9f.png?v=1792969108"},{"product_id":"the-life-coach-pig-mug","title":"The \"Life Coach Pig\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe multi-billion-dollar life coaching industry is built on thousand-dollar weekend retreats,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e meaningless corporate buzzwords,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and aggressive manifestation routines.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e But actual personal transformation is remarkably simple and completely free.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a prompt visual of a pig's rear end and the most concise self-improvement program ever devised—\"Stop being an asshole.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e There.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Now I'm your life coach.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug cuts through the wellness fluff to deliver direct,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e actionable wisdom.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it front and center on your desk to save your coworkers thousands in professional development costs, or sip from it while quietly watching someone pay for a seminar on basic human decency.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to power you through everyone else's unmanaged personality flaws.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and significantly more grounded in reality than a certified spiritual strategist.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because genuine personal growth should be low-maintenance; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The pig's backside and no-nonsense advice won't wash off, no matter how many people relapse into bad habits.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly proportioned to hold while dispensing breakthrough life guidance at zero cost.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eFire your coach. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50865721704496,"sku":"e283aaf2-494e-44cc-a409-b2784e274d88","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50865721737264,"sku":"42232ab3-2271-4517-9d03-23c3e6845733","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50865721770032,"sku":"6c6f742a-2528-4a4d-8960-ffc81b6b5a06","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50865721802800,"sku":"da52263c-de9e-4114-b909-fb81c385d755","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50865721835568,"sku":"b3ec4833-8213-44a2-9090-0a93332699ff","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50865721868336,"sku":"39950b2d-2ae0-4e75-8790-611a1481c9e5","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/ec5837fb-6a33-4986-9607-caf9c751f1a7.png?v=1792969909"},{"product_id":"the-harder-when-youre-stupid-mug","title":"The \"Harder When You're Stupid\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eExistential hardship is real,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e but a staggering amount of human suffering is entirely self-inflicted.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of a man sitting out on a tree branch and actively chopping through the wood between himself and the trunk,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e alongside the ultimate life lesson—\"Life is hard.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e It's even harder when you're stupid.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to watching people continuously engineer their own downfall through sheer,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unadulterated lack of foresight.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk while reviewing a project strategy that clearly ignores basic logic, or sip from it while watching a coworker double down on a terrible decision everyone explicitly warned them about.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your composure while watching self-sabotage unfold in real time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid, durable, and structurally sound—unlike the genius plan currently being executed around you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because dealing with entirely preventable disasters takes enough energy; spending time handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The tree-cutting graphic and harsh reality check won't wear off, even when the branch inevitably snaps.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold while calmly stepping out of the gravity-induced blast radius.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eTimber. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50865751326768,"sku":"279694ce-7d9e-48e0-a85b-869a9f8ab259","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50865751359536,"sku":"e50e3f2f-6b9b-46b8-9b60-b35efc6af438","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50865751392304,"sku":"977c6f06-8cd0-4d16-b787-75cca4a3de8f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50865751425072,"sku":"093c4a65-cbd5-40c0-968a-2ca488f3d2f6","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50865751457840,"sku":"4de284e5-3ea1-4db9-9a9b-e70d2a4ea049","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50865751490608,"sku":"0a220026-00d4-414a-96f4-5fb32fa8d2c4","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/fc27e087-5493-4118-9742-e6495085ab0b.png?v=1792973705"},{"product_id":"the-not-a-fairytale-mug","title":"The \"Not a Fairytale\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDisney lied to you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Leaving a single heel behind on a marble staircase at midnight doesn't mean a handsome prince is going to scour the kingdom to track you down—it means you over-served yourself at happy hour,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e stumbled out of a cab,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and left a seventy-dollar shoe in the gutter.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of a sparkling glass slipper and a cold,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e sobering reality check—\"Life is not a fairytale.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e If you lose your shoe at midnight,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e you're drunk.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to anyone who values real-world hangover recovery over magical thinking.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk to explain your Monday morning limp, or sip dark roast from it while retracing your weekend steps through pending credit card transactions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeinated life-support to rehydrate you after a night of atrocious choices and missing footwear.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid, durable, and exponentially less fragile than a glass slipper (or your memory of last night).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because nursing a massive, self-inflicted hangover takes enough energy; spending time handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The slipper graphic and sobering truth won't wash off, no matter how hard you try to deny what happened at 12:01 AM.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold with two hands while waiting for the headache medicine to kick in.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eCall an Uber. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50865800413232,"sku":"d8dfa2df-2c7c-4dda-912c-4064602c4282","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50865800446000,"sku":"87fea1b7-4bb6-4804-9b76-57924a205f0e","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50865800478768,"sku":"e3aaf882-72b7-443e-9019-2b956e39fd25","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50865800511536,"sku":"1405200b-f6dc-4bd3-8a22-e1f3b1c2bfd9","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50865800544304,"sku":"943eb243-d4ca-49d2-8263-4cbf204fefbf","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50865800577072,"sku":"dce5fac8-0f16-42c1-b4f4-7a86392f9638","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/49c2fd1a-e036-48b2-9cb6-7fe7317e826d.png?v=1792970691"},{"product_id":"the-mediocre-confidence-mug","title":"The \"Mediocre Confidence\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePreparation,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e qualifications,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and actual domain expertise are completely overrated.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Why spend years mastering a skill when you could simply walk into any room with zero preparation,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e interrupt the subject matter expert,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and state your opinion with absolute,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unshakeable authority?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of an aggressively self-assured guy and the ultimate career hack—\"Carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to the sheer power of unearned audacity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it in plain view during executive pitch meetings, or sip from it while successfully failing upward into a senior management role you are wildly unqualified for.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain you while bluffing your way through a project proposal you haven't researched for even five seconds.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and taking up valuable desk space with total, unbothered entitlement.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because doing unnecessary labor yourself shows weakness; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The smug illustration and sharp reality check won't fade, no matter how many people try to fact-check your claims.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold while confidently interrupting someone who actually knows what they're talking about.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eClaim the credit. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50865831378992,"sku":"05885f5e-f20a-4cee-bd6f-47590107ee1f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50865831411760,"sku":"e0d5d18d-d0d0-4016-bfdc-61049f37106a","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50865831444528,"sku":"e11e173d-4e54-43b5-9da3-969b696cabc5","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50865831477296,"sku":"96ad10d6-0ef7-4cac-8fc2-d86e3a0c8517","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50865831510064,"sku":"fed84a38-9b4a-4502-a90a-3ca55e3261a5","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50865831542832,"sku":"9ca5fdb4-3053-4ab2-ab75-4bc0da335b5d","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/ffd78ded-4d07-4265-88d9-f78311c061eb.png?v=1792975110"},{"product_id":"the-not-the-boss-of-me-mug","title":"The \"Not The Boss Of Me\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCorporate organizational charts love to pretend that an arbitrary job title confers absolute authority over your time,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e thoughts,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and spiritual energy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e But true workplace autonomy is an internal mindset—one that politely (or impolitely) rejects micromanagement on principle.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a graphic of a \"BOSS\" desk nameplate crossed out inside a red prohibition sign and the ultimate anti-authoritarian boundary—\"No.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e You're not the boss of me.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is your daily,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unyielding declaration of personal sovereignty.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it facing outward during one-on-ones, or sip from it with absolute composure whenever middle management attempts to assign \"high-priority emergency tasks\" at 4:55 PM on a Friday.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your silent resistance through another pointless departmental delegation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and entirely unbothered by middle-management posturing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because taking orders for unnecessary manual kitchen labor is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The slashed-out manager sign and clear boundary won't wash off, no matter how many performance reviews they schedule.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly proportioned to hold while making unblinking eye contact across the conference table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eMaintain sovereignty. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50865945968688,"sku":"0c71a745-c36f-4f5d-a969-7c32f3ba9a27","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50865946001456,"sku":"a83e66a1-59ef-4d30-9670-7b81e73cc25a","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50865946034224,"sku":"22d47f89-a63d-49f2-9141-97325e1f42ee","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50865946066992,"sku":"cc1f6ba8-5376-4132-b532-caf7b7b01394","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50865946099760,"sku":"8940cd9a-ff22-45b9-b9c6-4da32d3fbd47","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50865946132528,"sku":"47d9ab69-990d-457d-9262-9b3268da7f96","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/9c131518-267e-4a6c-ada3-0b54500bc2b6.png?v=1792970002"},{"product_id":"the-got-on-my-nerves-mug","title":"The \"Got On My Nerves\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eReal romantic longevity isn't about constant honeymoon-phase perfection; it's about accepting that long-term partnership is a daily oscillation between deep affection and testing each other's absolute limits.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a deceptively sweet illustration of a couple holding hands beneath a heart paired with the ultimate backhanded romantic reality check—\"I love you more today than yesterday.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Yesterday you really got on my nerves.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is the most honest anniversary or relationship gift in existence.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHand it to your significant other along with their morning coffee as a peace offering for yesterday's spat over who left the cabinet doors open, or sip from it yourself as a subtle reminder that your love is real, but your patience resets on a 24-hour clock.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to restore your emotional bandwidth after a night of domestic irritation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and built to withstand the emotional roller coaster of long-term togetherness.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because arguing over kitchen chores is exhausting enough; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The cute couple graphic and backhanded compliment won't wash off, no matter how many petty arguments you survive.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold with both hands while accepting a begrudging apology.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eReset the clock. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50865960714288,"sku":"a4aecbef-7ae7-48d4-af84-b5ba7edb5f42","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50865960747056,"sku":"0922d9be-a25f-4049-9c8f-c0a663be4fcd","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50865960779824,"sku":"ff7e0e47-899a-494f-bac0-7dea2b36d216","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50865960812592,"sku":"b42046ed-a16b-429f-b513-3b30d69bb0c9","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50865960845360,"sku":"608f69b1-9764-41c1-8cf8-0fe391e51dfa","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50865960878128,"sku":"8d4dbed9-c555-464c-a6d3-0e8241d32dd1","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/6a34bb70-69b3-4885-bc28-e69777e499c8.png?v=1792974831"},{"product_id":"the-your-opinion-matters-mug","title":"The \"Your Opinion Matters\" Mug","description":"\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEveryone wants a platform to broadcast their unsolicited hot takes,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e constructive feedback,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and endless workplace commentary.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e But there is a massive,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e fundamental difference between someone's right to express an opinion and your obligation to actually care about it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of someone yelling frantically into a megaphone paired with the ultimate dismissive courtesy—\"Of course your opinion matters...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Just not to me.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug acknowledges their enthusiasm without granting them an audience.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eKeep it facing outward during feedback reviews, or sip hot coffee from it while quietly watching a coworker deliver a passionate, fifteen-minute monologue about a decision that was already finalized last Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your composure while waiting for someone to finish speaking.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and entirely impervious to incoming noise pollution.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because filtering through unasked-for advice takes enough energy; spending time handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The megaphone graphic and polite brush-off won't wear off, no matter how loud people yell.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold in front of your mouth so you don't accidentally reply.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eMute the noise. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50865976508464,"sku":"1366d7ad-af96-4d60-bbe2-562c3322939f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50865976541232,"sku":"c943d152-424e-489e-b0db-ed22bc7962ef","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50865976574000,"sku":"d36275b1-e615-4a49-8b6b-7d694f3c3a9a","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50865976606768,"sku":"8bd37821-4a20-4a7b-ab30-bc5eb406db49","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50865976639536,"sku":"3258e014-2021-4392-aeea-f95abd5771fb","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50865976672304,"sku":"73776314-cbc7-43aa-920e-e4c5ef57199f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/11054270-ff70-4bf1-a2be-d143b93af01b.png?v=1792970398"},{"product_id":"the-two-faced-penny-mug","title":"The \"Two-Faced Penny\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe office is full of people who smile warmly to your face in the breakroom and immediately toss you under the bus in the executive recap email.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e But fake loyalty is even sadder when you realize the perpetrator holds zero real influence anyway.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of a single copper coin paired with the ultimate economic evaluation—\"You remind me of a penny.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Two-faced,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and not worth much.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to calling out cheap,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e superficial workplace snakes for what they truly are:\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e absolute dead weight.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it facing the desk across from you during one-on-ones, or sip hot coffee from it while listening to a colleague attempt to inflate their meager contributions to last month's numbers.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to tolerate the cheap small talk from people with zero actual substance.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and worth infinitely more than the literal loose change sitting on your desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because dealing with fake, high-maintenance people takes enough work; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The coin graphic and brutal valuation won't wash off, no matter how much they try to polish their fake reputation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold while calculating everyone's true net worth in the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eKeep the change. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50865991581744,"sku":"5491c7df-8271-456a-ba64-b4b96f289a4e","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50865991614512,"sku":"0b1ad990-1ce2-49ea-9778-8c00d7652e70","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50865991647280,"sku":"e74cec2a-60bc-4baf-92a7-2a2ae75a24a6","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50865991680048,"sku":"86bc908b-0f14-405e-a22f-1887ba87d61c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50865991712816,"sku":"6f66e465-3ec6-485f-8115-ba7a14b88500","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50865991745584,"sku":"2f5ff965-a20d-430a-8ec8-e5cad5ec11f0","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/a5d87bcf-fdd9-44fa-806e-97401524e492.png?v=1792971869"},{"product_id":"the-pralines-and-dick-mug","title":"The \"Pralines and Dick\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePop culture history has given us some legendary burns,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e but few hit with the surgical precision of comparing someone's entire personality to a fundamentally ruined dessert pairing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Channeling classic,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unfiltered '90s comedy alongside a deceptively sweet illustration of an ice cream cone,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e this mug delivers the ultimate double-take evaluation—\"If you were an ice cream flavor,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e you'd be pralines and dick.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk as a silent critique of that one colleague who ruins every good project, or sip dark roast from it while watching someone slowly digest what your mug actually says.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to palate-cleanse after dealing with the absolute worst personalities in the office.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and far more palatable than the flavor combination described on the front.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because enduring foul workplace interactions takes enough energy; spending time handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The sweet ice cream graphic and iconic burn won't melt away, no matter how heated the breakroom gets.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly proportioned to hold while serving up vintage, top-tier disrespect.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eScoop it up. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50866007048240,"sku":"1e154f4b-b873-4724-a1b2-3e93c5c3f83d","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50866007081008,"sku":"f4d15ce8-5dab-4c6d-9984-0c65c74a1be7","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50866007113776,"sku":"6c49cd7a-8324-4664-a2ec-b7ef4810b584","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50866007146544,"sku":"a7a18898-f805-4a46-8296-4bfb980757b7","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50866007179312,"sku":"1e9cf225-929e-47ac-86c8-615dd7bb527b","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50866007212080,"sku":"c9a660c1-4d02-471b-b920-c27a20f7d323","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/0f6732a6-cfd0-4afd-89f0-8467597c4098.png?v=1792971959"},{"product_id":"the-punch-at-8-mug","title":"The \"Punch at 8\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnger management seminars love teaching standard de-escalation tactics like deep breathing,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e mindfulness,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and counting to ten.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e But standard techniques make your responses completely predictable to the people currently pushing your absolute last button.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of a well-timed right hook paired with an unorthodox tactical adjustment—\"When you get angry,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e take a breath and count to 10.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Throw a punch at 8.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Nobody expects that.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to the element of surprise in conflict resolution.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk during high-stakes negotiations, or sip hot coffee from it while making direct eye contact with the colleague who continuously talks over everyone in staff meetings.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to fuel your calculated, highly unexpected strategy sessions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and significantly sturdier than standard HR-approved coping mechanisms.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because maintaining an unpredictable tactical edge takes enough effort; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The striking graphic and aggressive timing advice won't wear off, no matter how tense the room gets.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly proportioned to grip firmly while silently counting down from ten.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eCatch 'em off guard. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50866009931824,"sku":"97c2833b-0786-4cb4-9654-9e018f680af2","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50866009964592,"sku":"3a70ea42-b85f-4fc6-8759-a12d477b78a9","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50866009997360,"sku":"97c27685-aa88-497a-b6e7-bb81431342ae","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50866010030128,"sku":"bb25498a-68fc-42aa-972c-0b92eefb8b4b","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50866010062896,"sku":"4af7dca2-ad21-4a80-9794-5e3f7163a3f1","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50866010095664,"sku":"e81e143e-7a5f-46ab-9bba-95acdf72edb1","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/3b45325e-1f8d-43fd-aadd-9dca30b573ea.png?v=1792967314"},{"product_id":"the-find-a-brain-mug","title":"The \"Find A Brain\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePassive-aggressive eye rolls are the official currency of unproductive meetings.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Whenever you present a simple,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e logical solution to a problem,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e there is always that one colleague who leans back,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e heavy-sighs,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and rolls their eyes to the ceiling like they're enduring unimaginable hardship.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of someone dramatically rolling their eyes alongside the ultimate comeback—\"Keep rolling your eyes.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Maybe you'll find a brain back there.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to encouraging their desperate internal search for basic cognitive function.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk during cross-functional alignment calls, or sip hot coffee from it while quietly waiting for your most theatrical coworker to locate a single original thought.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to endure another afternoon of performative annoyance and dramatic sighing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and holding up significantly better than their logical reasoning skills.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because catering to high-maintenance personalities takes enough energy; spending time handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The eye-rolling illustration and savage comeback won't wear off, no matter how many times they roll their eyes today.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly proportioned to hold while staring back with unbothered, absolute detachment.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eKeep searching. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50866016780336,"sku":"5b39badc-5ab4-48f1-9670-8c95b199001e","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50866016813104,"sku":"b561dccf-35bb-4381-9bec-855d19b29750","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50866016845872,"sku":"699cb667-ff17-4cdc-8e64-f822a36289cd","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50866016878640,"sku":"1ea060ae-fc95-4cdc-a38d-b23c21e1a51a","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50866016911408,"sku":"1bc80cc2-a396-45d5-9e24-eec1483d000f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50866016944176,"sku":"88f30a46-dc2a-4b76-a639-0116a5d64584","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/bf5c1881-6f92-4d13-9d25-64d6c5b0cc05.png?v=1793218415"},{"product_id":"the-something-to-cry-about-mug","title":"The \"Something To Cry About\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWe all remember the classic parental warning delivered right as a childhood meltdown reached peak volume.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Fast forward to adulthood,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and you're surrounded by full-grown professionals weeping over slight calendar shifts,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unformatted spreadsheets,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and mild inbox traffic.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of a weeping face paired with the ultimate retro threat—\"I'll give you something to cry about.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is your daily reminder that if people are going to complain about minor inconveniences,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e you are more than happy to hand them a real workload tragedy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk during project debriefs, or sip dark roast from it while assigning a forty-page audit report to the person currently complaining about having to write a two-sentence update.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeinated emotional support to carry you through everyone else's fragile breakdowns.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid, durable, and exponentially less fragile than the mental fortitude of the people around you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because crying over manual kitchen labor is ridiculous; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The sobbing graphic and ominous threat won't wash away, no matter how many tears fall into the sink.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold while maintaining a cold, completely unsympathetic stare.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eDry your eyes. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50866024022064,"sku":"53dbd5aa-60df-4176-8274-432af719c42c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50866024054832,"sku":"725449e1-d78e-4117-b9e4-7b28d1e61c20","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50866024087600,"sku":"933840cd-1b45-43bd-aea3-47306c6b2d43","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50866024120368,"sku":"48865671-1969-4e18-9cca-ea2b977534aa","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50866024153136,"sku":"5a0404d6-9569-4ace-b8e1-fd8b6de1e5fc","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50866024185904,"sku":"8a834cdf-9bfe-461c-b06e-2a6d049c97a6","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/2851b725-8f6f-401c-bc9a-62f2769ec6a0.png?v=1793218362"},{"product_id":"the-step-on-a-lego-mug","title":"The \"Step On A Lego\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePhysical violence gets you called into HR,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e but a well-directed curse is completely untraceable.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e When someone crosses your boundaries,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e ruins your morning,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e or sends a \"friendly reminder\" about a task that isn't due for two weeks,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e standard corporate pleasantries simply lack the visceral,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e blinding agony required for true spiritual closure.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of colorful plastic bricks paired with the ultimate modern curse—\"I hope you step on a Lego.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug delivers a quiet,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e non-violent wish for intense,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e barefoot torment.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk aimed directly at the colleague who always replies-all to company announcements, or sip dark roast from it while mentally wishing bare-heel plastic impacts upon every minor annoyance in your life.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to fuel your dark, vindictive inner monologue through another status meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and exponentially less painful to encounter barefoot than a rogue 2x4 plastic brick.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because enduring workplace hostility is painful enough; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The brick graphic and iconic curse won't wear off, no matter how many times you wish silent suffering upon others.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly proportioned to hold comfortably while watching people tread carefully around your desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eDeliver the curse. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50866059149360,"sku":"28e19182-ff1f-4d08-84fe-46fac92ab496","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50866059182128,"sku":"9bc64607-3c83-4ce2-8c56-ff4aea6fe193","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50866059214896,"sku":"09a51e5a-44ee-4f19-9ae7-b5f880db3c4c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50866059247664,"sku":"3166401e-d19b-4904-b682-40a64a75a727","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50866059280432,"sku":"b3438b80-b345-49a4-b7b1-d3c98b20ee1a","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50866059313200,"sku":"382a3256-a3e2-4e68-a92f-fe78bac54b80","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/0500b4e6-a972-4f26-9780-9af2f34f5934.png?v=1793217610"},{"product_id":"the-the-other-one-is-you-mug","title":"The \"The Other One Is You\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eDebate is wonderful when both parties bring facts,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e logic,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and functional cognitive capacity to the table.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Unfortunately,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e most of your daily workplace arguments involve trying to explain basic concepts to someone whose internal processing unit appears to be filled with pure,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unrefined sludge.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an anatomical profile of a head housing a literal pile of poop where the brain should be,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e paired with the ultimate logical conclusion—\"All I know is that one of us is right,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and the other one is you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug puts a decisive end to circular,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e pointless discussions.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it facing outward during cross-departmental planning sessions, or sip hot dark roast from it while calmly listening to a colleague present a completely flawed strategy with unearned confidence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your sanity while waiting for their remaining logic cells to misfire.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and containing vastly higher intellectual value than the skull contents pictured on the front.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because arguing with people who have crap for brains is exhausting enough; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The anatomical graphic and devastating deduction won't wash off, no matter how many terrible takes you have to sit through.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly proportioned to hold steady while offering zero room for counterarguments.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eEnd the debate. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50866073534512,"sku":"86d1d633-f478-47f1-b07a-3b347fb05847","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50866073567280,"sku":"1fb0b9c9-d886-4bc7-ab35-34aabb794f17","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50866073600048,"sku":"4cd038df-806e-4dac-a58d-d0aaed3e951b","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50866073632816,"sku":"a7244a05-5df4-418b-9ad7-12d4caf5590c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50866073665584,"sku":"96a7ba9b-1904-45a6-966c-82803d9e97f8","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50866073698352,"sku":"430e28ce-5688-4fab-b43c-838a7e369f7e","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/e55f7c24-b85e-49b2-a4c9-0e1f29d5e737.png?v=1792970589"},{"product_id":"the-not-your-station-mug","title":"The \"Not Your Station\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eChaos loves company,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and every office or social circle has at least one person whose life is a continuous,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e self-inflicted disaster.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e That is entirely their business—until they attempt to pull into your platform and dump their crisis onto your desk.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of two train cars colliding in mid-air alongside the ultimate perimeter-enforcement warning—\"Hey Trainwreck...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e this isn't your station.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug politely (or not) redirects incoming hot messes back to their own tracks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it prominently positioned on the edge of your desk to signal that your workspace is a strict disaster-free zone, or sip dark roast from it while refusing to act as the emergency brake for someone else's preventable catastrophe.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to keep your own schedule running precisely on time while everything around you collapses.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and engineered with total structural integrity—unlike the wreck pulling into your cubicle.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because managing other people's emergencies takes enough effort; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The collision graphic and uncompromising boundary won't wash off, no matter how many derailments you reroute.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold steady while watching the drama pull away in the opposite direction.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eReroute the chaos. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50866075959344,"sku":"76e4e7dd-52e2-46cf-833b-654041979e43","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50866075992112,"sku":"dc1dc18c-f940-4a0e-ac1b-e68b647565b2","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50866076024880,"sku":"6b8d5a70-13c3-4730-a1c5-f8c5b8b1e675","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50866076057648,"sku":"307c6520-f47f-421d-93ce-a315abaeade5","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50866076090416,"sku":"023b2740-ba7a-411f-90a1-95ea622c9df0","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50866076123184,"sku":"4fb00a5b-1c53-49d8-a7a2-b30c79224c40","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/fde98ff9-94ee-445a-8ddb-15225e5de10e.png?v=1793218843"},{"product_id":"the-trash-gets-picked-up-mug","title":"The \"Trash Gets Picked Up\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGarbage day is usually viewed as a routine domestic chore,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e but in a chaotic workplace,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e it doubles as a scheduled window of opportunity to purge dead weight from your immediate surroundings.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e When someone's performance,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e attitude,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e or general existence continuously clogs up your pipeline,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e polite hints are no longer required.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of a classic trash can paired with the ultimate cold-blooded deadline—\"The trash gets picked up tomorrow.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Be ready.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug serves as a formal eviction notice for toxic personalities and absolute incompetence.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on the front edge of your desk aimed directly at your biggest workplace headache, or sip hot dark roast from it while giving someone a slow, deliberate look up and down as they walk past your cubicle.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to fuel your personal sanitation routine and daily purging efforts.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and exponentially cleaner than the dumpster fire walking past your desk.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because performing manual kitchen chores is garbage; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The trash can graphic and unsubtle eviction warning won't wash off, no matter how desperately they try to linger.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold while watching the curb clear out.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eTake out the trash. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50866079793200,"sku":"998cc448-b9b2-4592-a8d4-e43aa23e62c4","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50866079825968,"sku":"df20f412-5df7-413b-883d-baaa5a3796ba","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50866079858736,"sku":"006041f8-a795-48c3-83cf-d1d6870b373c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50866079891504,"sku":"27eb9de2-47d9-453d-9911-46e608091ee6","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50866079924272,"sku":"321854a5-5dcc-4e2b-8cd9-df0dc6e07127","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50866079957040,"sku":"23e3a295-12be-452c-8156-3ea468798b21","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/fe10652d-25ba-4416-b9b4-1b441edc5a70.png?v=1792976425"},{"product_id":"the-weird-hill-to-die-on-mug","title":"The \"Weird Hill To Die On\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWe’ve all watched a colleague turn a completely trivial point into a full-scale,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e scorched-earth crusade.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Whether it's arguing for forty minutes over a slide deck font,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e insisting on an outdated workflow,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e or picking a fight over who gets credit for a routine spreadsheet,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e some people love picking the most bizarre,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e irrelevant hill to defend to the end.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a simple illustration of a lonely hill paired with the ultimate silver lining—\"Weird hill to die on.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e But at least you're dead.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug celebrates the quiet,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e peaceful closure that comes when someone's stubbornness finally claims them.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk during cross-departmental alignment calls, or sip dark roast from it while quietly watching a coworker destroy their own credibility over a hill nobody asked them to climb.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your composure through an hour of pointless corporate martyrdom.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and occupying significantly higher ground than the arguments happening across the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because fighting useless domestic battles is exhausting; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The hill graphic and bleakly comforting conclusion won't wear off, no matter how many bad ideas perish.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold while watching self-inflicted disasters run their course.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eClaim the high ground. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50866362056752,"sku":"7eea416b-2629-45bc-b680-5483e0830fb9","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50866362089520,"sku":"a2a1d6db-3b74-4da8-8822-fd07ea89509d","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50866362122288,"sku":"5e7f7d24-502d-44fb-9867-d69829ae4b3a","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50866362155056,"sku":"f25494dd-1b98-443f-a3df-ab070610099d","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50866362187824,"sku":"0c0321ce-c840-4147-93ca-fb8006536f2b","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50866362220592,"sku":"b770ce14-c6b7-4a15-9c40-bcafb4b18372","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/83e31dab-372e-4a4c-98bf-62da305a0f91.png?v=1793218646"},{"product_id":"the-me-neither-mug","title":"The \"Me Neither\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eUnsolicited feedback is the ultimate workplace plague.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e No matter how thoroughly a project is wrapped up or how self-explanatory a decision is,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e there is always someone ready to grab a metaphorical megaphone and broadcast their completely uninvited thoughts.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of a person yelling into a megaphone alongside the ultimate memory check—\"Remember when I asked for your opinion?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Yeah.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Me neither.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug sets a crystal-clear boundary against uninvited advice.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it front and center on your desk during open-office collaboration sessions, or sip hot dark roast from it while holding eye contact with anyone bold enough to offer a critique you never requested.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to drown out the noise of people who mistake their personal preferences for company policy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and holding vastly higher practical value than the input you're currently being subjected to.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because taking unwanted kitchen advice is exhausting; spending energy handwashing dishes is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The megaphone graphic and blunt reality check won't wear off, no matter how loud the room gets.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly proportioned to hold like a shield against uninvited critiques.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eMute the noise. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50866380341296,"sku":"c23d9c64-27a0-4c43-a91d-df571672edbd","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50866380374064,"sku":"1ae53547-dfe9-45b9-9d25-9f692eba7651","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50866380406832,"sku":"55244b50-2add-4edf-972f-8a51a4fb0d9c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50866380439600,"sku":"3509c128-98e4-487c-a8aa-d022b672d19b","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50866380472368,"sku":"164b4390-a5d2-4f1f-a2ef-bc30a52facfe","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50866380505136,"sku":"a417710c-c8b8-4154-b528-96383b01021a","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/a72a9788-fbbf-4ecc-a171-1f2f88c7ebcd.png?v=1792968539"},{"product_id":"the-bite-me-cross-stitch-mug","title":"The \"Bite Me Cross-Stitch\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePastel floral embroidery and delicate cross-stitch patterns are usually reserved for sweet grandmothers,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e cozy country kitchens,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and wholesome motivational quotes about living,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e loving,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and laughing.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e But when you frame pure,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unadulterated hostility inside a ring of soft pink blossoms and dainty hearts,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e it becomes the ultimate passive-aggressive masterpiece.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a charming cottagecore cross-stitch design paired with the most classic two-word dismissal in the English language—\"BITE ME\"—this mug is the ultimate Trojan horse of workplace defiance.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk during performance reviews to confuse management with its delicate visual appeal while delivering an unambiguous message, or sip hot tea from it while looking like a picture of soft elegance and feeling absolute, unbothered disdain.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to fuel your sweet-looking, savage-thinking persona through another endless shift.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and significantly sturdier than the fragile peace currently holding your office together.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because delicate manual labor on dishes or your patience is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The pastel flowers, hearts, and blunt directive won't wash off, no matter how many times you clean it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold with both hands while radiating absolute, dainty hostility.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eStay sweet. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50866488279088,"sku":"e1b863c6-096b-4e0f-80de-4ec8ce6d8189","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50866488311856,"sku":"849fbc16-f906-4413-8e3d-1c111aa16554","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50866488344624,"sku":"07a7fbe9-5b3b-4cd6-82e4-6c75c5d87a56","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50866488377392,"sku":"441e849a-fdfa-488f-8ea8-96fc4f4f68b7","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50866488410160,"sku":"d03b1219-acbe-448a-b6fd-c04022523960","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50866488442928,"sku":"ea4c3f84-6d43-4b2d-bea7-c15fcdf539c3","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/71607eb7-c4db-4f9c-9a22-e52567f61c38.png?v=1793219052"}],"url":"https:\/\/snarkattackco.com\/collections\/super-rude.oembed","provider":"Snark Attack Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}