{"product_id":"the-american-murder-log-mug","title":"The \"American Murder Log\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eTo the untrained eye,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e an alligator resting in swamp water looks like nothing more than a harmless,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e driftless piece of timber.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e But anyone foolish enough to step too close quickly learns that harmless log is actually an apex ambush predator with 2,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e000 pounds of bite force and zero interest in compromise.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of a cartoon gator paired with its true,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unvarnished biological rebrand—\"American Murder Log\"—this mug celebrates the art of looking completely dormant and unbothered right up until the exact moment you snap.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it front and center on your desk to subtly inform your department that beneath your quiet, floating-in-the-swamp exterior lies an ancient defense mechanism, or sip hot dark roast from it while silently monitoring corporate waters for unsuspecting trespassers.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your patience while lying motionless through another endless status meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and significantly tougher than the unsuspecting targets drifting into your territory.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because performing manual kitchen labor when you're an apex predator is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The cartoon gator graphic and unflinching rebrand won't wash off, no matter how murky the office waters get.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold while maintaining a motionless, unblinking glare across the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eBeware the swamp. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50866523897904,"sku":"070566fd-b03a-4d00-b923-1d8a9d9fc068","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50866523930672,"sku":"63ecb401-5f38-4188-adee-23e6fd279407","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50866523963440,"sku":"2c794450-b3ef-49ed-9047-ca407014f6e3","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50866523996208,"sku":"44653656-c39f-40f2-a7ef-6993f87db14c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50866524028976,"sku":"352e3130-77df-410d-b2fc-4a68a8f934e1","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50866524061744,"sku":"f52895ab-286e-4667-8443-32e14c39adbb","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/34dc88ea-00db-43a7-935c-8ba3a426a1ab.png?v=1793036307","url":"https:\/\/snarkattackco.com\/products\/the-american-murder-log-mug","provider":"Snark Attack Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}