{"product_id":"the-chloroform-mug","title":"The \"Chloroform\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCorporate wellness programs love pushing essential oils,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e diffusers,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and aromatherapy to \"de-stress\" and \"calm the room.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" But when a chatty coworker drops by your desk for an unprompted 45-minute monologue or management springs a surprise end-of-day audit,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e a whiff of lavender isn't going to cut it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Sometimes the only true relaxation requires immediate,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e deep,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e uninterrupted silence.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of the classic,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unblinking side-eye paired with the ultimate aromatherapy reality check—\"My favorite essential oil?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Chloroform.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug delivers a practical perspective on office wellness.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it front and center on your desk during mandatory stress-management seminars, or sip hot dark roast from it while staring down anyone who approaches your cubicle with a \"got a quick sec?\" before they can disrupt your inner peace.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to keep you fully conscious while everyone else's chatter fades into quiet submission.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and vastly more effective at setting boundaries than an overpriced essential oil diffuser.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because spending precious energy handwashing dishes when you could be enjoying sweet, total silence is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The side-eye graphic and therapeutic suggestion won't fade, no matter how many wellness initiatives HR launches.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold while taking a slow, calming breath of pure quiet.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eInhale the silence. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50907018592304,"sku":"6b0faaf1-e692-417a-80cf-7c6f5ddc835c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50907018625072,"sku":"96e9daf1-072c-4cd3-8ee7-759ba8b00674","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50907018657840,"sku":"5181667d-b1be-475a-95ef-5bfbfad3dd4e","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50907018690608,"sku":"0a312b12-3b0e-4826-9dc4-3cb10ec905a7","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50907018723376,"sku":"3f995280-70dc-442a-9c7b-107b53fe79a0","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50907018756144,"sku":"b693deef-fc9b-4851-9309-15dc87a510d4","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/1f5cc90b-764a-4efd-9a27-6f24ec22dbe5.png?v=1793228752","url":"https:\/\/snarkattackco.com\/products\/the-chloroform-mug","provider":"Snark Attack Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}