{"product_id":"the-distant-dying-mug","title":"The \"Distant \u0026 Dying\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePeople love telling you to \"reach for the stars\" or \"shine bright.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" Why?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Stars are cold,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e isolated,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e billions of miles away from human contact,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and slowly collapsing in on themselves.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Sounds like absolute paradise.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a serene shooting star graphic and the ultimate anti-inspirational reminder—\"Be like a star...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e distant and dying.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug is dedicated to anyone who prefers hard boundaries and existential dread over toxic positivity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it on your desk to ward off morning chatter, or sip from it while quietly contemplating the vast, peaceful void of deep space.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your slow, predictable burn.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Solid, cold, and completely unbothered by outside noise.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because doing dishes by hand requires an energy level you haven't possessed in years.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The dark cosmic truth won't fade, even as your social battery completely implodes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Perfectly sized to hold while maintaining a multi-light-year boundary around yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eBurn out in peace. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50862654783536,"sku":"053879ab-7c1b-4a18-a071-894efb9aa491","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50862654816304,"sku":"16f82b06-87b9-4d78-a974-d5f48a67231b","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50862654849072,"sku":"d6d87dde-1c60-439b-b2b1-d987a8f5ec11","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50862654881840,"sku":"b95749e2-9315-4b30-8cbc-06e855ccadf3","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50862654914608,"sku":"874d46aa-0291-4610-b0b2-ab3e2caae220","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50862654947376,"sku":"16682115-0ed2-4aa0-9f55-b79e294541e2","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/8b622a41-02aa-46f5-884c-2b0bad843637.png?v=1792974703","url":"https:\/\/snarkattackco.com\/products\/the-distant-dying-mug","provider":"Snark Attack Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}