{"product_id":"the-fornicate-thyself-mug","title":"The \"Fornicate Thyself\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCorporate codes of conduct strictly prohibit instructing an unreasonable stakeholder,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e micromanaging supervisor,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e or boundary-pushing client to \"go fuck yourself.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" Utter those exact words in a recorded video sync,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and you are headed straight to a mandatory conflict-resolution seminar with HR.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e But when a passive-aggressive \"per my last email\" hits your inbox or a last-minute Friday evening fire drill lands on your desk,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e suppressing your visceral reaction requires an outlet of monumental proportions.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFortunately, translating crude profanity into elevated Latinate phrasing wrapped in museum-grade Victorian filigree converts a standard workplace violation into an exercise in high-art sophistication. Rendered in elaborate, flourish-heavy script inside an intricate ornate frame, \"Fornicate Thyself\" elevates an unvarnished directive into a stately personal decree. It delivers the absolute rejection of unreasonable demands with the dignified authority of a monarch dismissing an uninvited peasant.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it front and center on your desk during high-stakes scope-creep negotiations, unprompted audit calls, or weekend pings from desperate project managers, and sip hot dark roast from it while granting your most problematic colleagues a formal, aristocratic dismissal.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your regal composure through the most absurd corporate requests.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and built with vastly more structural integrity than the unreasonable deadlines being assigned to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because lowering your vocabulary to common street fights—or spending energy handwashing dishes in the breakroom sink—is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The ornate frame and flourish-heavy typography won't fade, no matter how many formal dismissals you issue across the fiscal year.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold with pinky-out authority while rejecting absurd expectations.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eIssue the decree. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50928044113968,"sku":"c4a127ce-13dd-415d-9f6d-4d01b33bb51f","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50928044146736,"sku":"6ca5f417-0682-48ec-af3d-1a2c6b55df4a","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50928044179504,"sku":"a1294a8f-1d64-4b06-a501-9aba3b6dc492","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50928044212272,"sku":"9da77dce-350e-425a-af39-c10d64e9b7c9","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50928044245040,"sku":"5023d586-1c5c-460e-bb1a-e1021e80cad0","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50928044277808,"sku":"2ca89fc0-fcde-4209-90fd-5a52ebcd85cb","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/ffb4b845-0100-4b61-a625-f417dece3df4.png?v=1793458815","url":"https:\/\/snarkattackco.com\/products\/the-fornicate-thyself-mug","provider":"Snark Attack Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}