{"product_id":"the-get-distant-mug","title":"The \"Get Distant\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIn corporate settings,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e people expect emotional drama when boundaries are crossed—raised voices,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e heated email exchanges,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e or long-winded HR complaints.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e But true workplace veterans know that anger requires an investment of emotional energy that toxic or incompetent colleagues simply don't deserve.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Why burn out your nervous system making a scene when you can quietly,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e permanently revoke their access to your warmth,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e goodwill,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and attention?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of the classic,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unblinking side-eye paired with the ultimate cold-war declaration—\"I don't get mad.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e I get distant.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug highlights the supreme effectiveness of total professional detachment.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it front and center on your desk during tense status syncs or 1-on-1s, and sip hot dark roast from it while calmly placing light-years of unyielding, professional space between yourself and the drama.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your ice-cold professional distance through a full afternoon of attempts to re-engage.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and significantly cooler than the heated arguments you refuse to participate in.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because warming up to toxic behavior or spending precious energy handwashing dishes in the breakroom sink is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The side-eye graphic and quiet boundary promise won't fade, no matter how many miles of emotional distance you establish.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold while maintaining a completely frozen outer perimeter.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eKeep your distance. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50917199413296,"sku":"4c7d059c-8f1d-491a-8a3e-599ca3efa649","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50917199446064,"sku":"5e51492f-14cb-4cd6-94ff-05c55b88a2bf","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50917199478832,"sku":"36e70950-1d33-45cb-8138-46117197054e","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50917199511600,"sku":"a23392a9-6cc4-43db-b5c0-fc6ee3f774b5","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50917199544368,"sku":"7c99a775-5d1d-4089-b3d4-21c44aba7972","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50917199577136,"sku":"d8d78722-0f0e-4e34-bdf8-33b696f3ed54","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/7968e6d8-e408-47f1-9c73-80346e66ea30.png?v=1793309497","url":"https:\/\/snarkattackco.com\/products\/the-get-distant-mug","provider":"Snark Attack Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}