{"product_id":"the-martini-math-mug","title":"The \"Martini Math\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCorporate culture loves mandating \"social cohesion\" through mandatory team-building happy hours,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e post-quarter networking mixers,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and executive receptions where everyone is expected to pretend they aren't counting down the minutes until escape.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Surviving these mandatory fun events requires a precise,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e tactical understanding of your personal tolerance and operational threshold before professional decorum completely collapses.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring a crisp graphic of a classic martini paired with Dorothy Parker’s immortal verse on corporate-adjacent social endurance—\"I like to have a martini.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 2 at the very most.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 3,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e I'm under the table.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e 4,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e I'm under the host.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug elevates the fine art of knowing your limits into a piece of high-society literary wit.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it front and center on your desk during post-work mixer planning, mandatory social committee announcements, or Friday afternoon status calls, and sip hot dark roast from it while calculating your exact exit strategy for the next corporate open bar.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your recovery after surviving a \"three-martini\" networking session.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and built with significantly more poise than your colleagues at minute 90 of a company mixer.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because oversharing at company social events—or spending energy handwashing dishes in the breakroom sink—is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The classic martini graphic and literary Dorothy Parker stanza won't fade, no matter how many corporate mixers you endure across the fiscal year.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold with pinky-out sophistication during any workplace gathering.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eKnow your limits. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50928117252144,"sku":"c7c1b255-71bc-4218-bfd2-700510a4eea0","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50928117284912,"sku":"260e7a37-1259-4b16-ba30-14eec746a005","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50928117317680,"sku":"c65e203a-fbef-4696-b6be-a8863613732e","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50928117350448,"sku":"8f1ead47-c274-4b1a-9bb3-0c301daaeeb3","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50928117383216,"sku":"861a8ab1-b0e4-498d-a19b-1df483425599","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50928117415984,"sku":"91c5cf06-b337-47bb-a215-337d1a970550","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/f405f269-0764-49a8-be58-e923a17cb88c.png?v=1793462179","url":"https:\/\/snarkattackco.com\/products\/the-martini-math-mug","provider":"Snark Attack Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}