{"product_id":"the-negative-iq-mug","title":"The \"Negative IQ\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStandard corporate metrics measure ROI,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e quarter-over-quarter growth,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e or project velocity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e But every now and then,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e a colleague delivers a hot take so profoundly illogical,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e or deletes critical formulas so thoroughly,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e that standard performance frameworks simply break down.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e You aren't just witnessing a minor oversight—you're looking at a statistical anomaly where cognitive output somehow dips below absolute zero.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of the classic,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unblinking side-eye paired with the ultimate diagnostic evaluation—\"Your IQ test came back negative.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug skips the diplomatic soft-pedaling and delivers the raw baseline data.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it front and center on your desk during mandatory retraining sessions, process reviews, or basic software walkthroughs, and sip hot dark roast from it while watching someone struggle with a task clearly designed for elementary schoolers.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to maintain your brain function at peak efficiency while surrounded by room-temperature intelligence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and structurally possessive of a higher IQ than the person who just crashed the shared spreadsheet.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because conducting remedial adult education while handwashing dishes at the breakroom sink is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The side-eye graphic and severe intellectual assessment won't wash off, no matter how many remedial workshops HR schedules.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold while processing the complete absence of logic across the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eReview the metrics. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50916113874992,"sku":"ae939052-6c7f-4fca-9944-8cac8db562a6","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50916113907760,"sku":"d8cd767f-fbc8-4aa5-860a-e6a1d640a238","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50916113940528,"sku":"6b04835b-d14e-4562-83fc-cfbfd4d452ac","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50916113973296,"sku":"bd6312d8-4fd5-4d13-8c36-c75b1bd934cd","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50916114006064,"sku":"c444bfb3-19a0-4fca-9a59-52da08b0c036","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50916114038832,"sku":"db9017db-83d2-458f-a363-99fc4982f571","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/d3f22784-9f57-4851-bb0a-cb7b7bb8ac3d.png?v=1793300583","url":"https:\/\/snarkattackco.com\/products\/the-negative-iq-mug","provider":"Snark Attack Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}