{"product_id":"the-quit-finding-me-mug","title":"The \"Quit Finding Me\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCorporate environments are full of professional hall monitors who actively seek out reasons to be offended—whether it's your direct communication style,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e your complete lack of performative enthusiasm,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e or your zero-tolerance policy for inefficiency.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e But if someone continually wanders over to your desk,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e monitors your Slack status,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e or listens in on your conversations just to complain about your \"tone,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" the solution is remarkably simple.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e You aren't forcing your presence on anyone; they are actively tracking you down.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of the classic,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unblinking side-eye paired with the ultimate proximity warning—\"If you find me offensive...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e I suggest you quit f*cking finding me.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug puts the burden of distance squarely where it belongs.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it front and center on your desk during open-office hours, cross-functional alignment calls, or mandatory social events, and sip hot dark roast from it while reminding the local outrage enthusiasts that peace is a choice they can easily make by walking in the opposite direction.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your hard boundaries against unsolicited feedback and workplace tone-policing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and significantly sturdier than the fragile sensitivities of people who hunt for conflict.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because altering your personality to satisfy professional hall monitors—or spending energy handwashing dishes—is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The side-eye graphic and profane proximity rule won't wash off, no matter how many complaints land in the HR queue.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold while establishing an impenetrable personal radius.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eStay unfound. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50917197742128,"sku":"2be76b14-f7de-46a4-8e3c-2f8e1793ac08","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50917197774896,"sku":"6354230f-453b-4b0b-8768-f4fe6c21af34","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50917197807664,"sku":"69009073-35cc-428c-8906-04944d8230be","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50917197840432,"sku":"e1d98c98-15fc-4535-8c51-f39dd758c6d6","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50917197873200,"sku":"cb8e52b1-ace0-4aaa-aecb-211f6675215d","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50917197905968,"sku":"44e0a072-e43f-4e28-a48b-c58fc6a06848","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/c8800a36-7809-412c-b8f2-3d5a8ed35833.png?v=1793309364","url":"https:\/\/snarkattackco.com\/products\/the-quit-finding-me-mug","provider":"Snark Attack Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}