{"product_id":"the-self-absorbed-mug","title":"The \"Self-Absorbed\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEvery office has that one individual whose entire existence centers on self-aggrandizement.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e They dominate every agenda,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e monopolize status calls with stories of their unverified achievements,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and present bloated,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e meaningless reports with maximum fanfare.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e But beneath all the performative buzzwords,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e take-credit-for-everything attitude,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and constant demand for attention lies zero actual substance—just a massive payload of toxic,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unadulterated nonsense.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of the classic,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unblinking side-eye paired with the ultimate unvarnished metaphor—\"You're like a bag of diapers.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Self-absorbed and full of shit.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug skips the diplomatic euphemisms and breaks down their core composition with medical accuracy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it front and center on your desk during quarterly town halls, self-congratulatory presentations, or strategy syncs, and sip hot dark roast from it while watching someone try to hide their total lack of substance behind another layer of corporate fluff.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your composure through another self-absorbed monologue.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and structurally far sounder than the inflated claims being made across the conference table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because filtering out corporate hype—or spending energy handwashing dishes in the breakroom sink—is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The side-eye graphic and severe metaphorical truth won't wash off, no matter how much spin management applies.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold while observing a complete absence of real value in real time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eDispose of the fluff. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50917223465008,"sku":"ccec94a0-96f1-450f-ab46-4450f96cbc9c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50917223497776,"sku":"5b4e93e2-bafc-4b16-accd-e5276f6ea368","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50917223530544,"sku":"ca8f65db-57ff-4a05-b194-2c9c30ede2f5","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50917223563312,"sku":"26b9b8a5-881f-43fb-a689-7aa7bf5358c0","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50917223596080,"sku":"0bd5b500-5bf6-4a74-80be-766fc41280bd","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50917223628848,"sku":"f53e9e63-416c-4dec-ae78-2928a5bc5b76","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/0129edb0-f4b7-44e8-a6d8-12d00bfc47ff.png?v=1793311377","url":"https:\/\/snarkattackco.com\/products\/the-self-absorbed-mug","provider":"Snark Attack Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}