{"product_id":"the-team-player-mug","title":"The \"Team Player\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCorporate HR departments love preaching \"cross-functional synergy,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" \"collaborative mindsets,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" and the vital importance of \"playing well with others.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\" But true teamwork requires a mutual commitment to baseline logic,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e effort,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and preparation.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e When a group project devolves into an exercise in babysitting colleagues who refuse to check documentation,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e follow basic instructions,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e or think critically,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \"collaboration\" ceases to exist.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e It isn't that you lack social skills or a team-first attitude—you simply decline to accommodate self-inflicted incompetence under the guise of workplace harmony.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Featuring an illustration of the classic,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e unblinking side-eye paired with the ultimate collaborative disclaimer—\"I don't play well with stupid people.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\"—this mug establishes precise standards for who gets to share your bandwidth.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it front and center on your desk during cross-departmental syncs, mandatory team-building exercises, or group project kickoffs, and sip hot dark roast from it while quietly opting out of performative workplace camaraderie.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your composure through mandatory group brainstorming sessions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and built with significantly more structural logic than the team proposal on screen.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because spoon-feeding full-grown adults basic concepts—or spending energy handwashing dishes in the breakroom sink—is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The side-eye graphic and severe collaboration disclaimer won't fade, no matter how many cross-functional committees management assigns to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold firmly while maintaining strict standards for partnership.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eFilter the team. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50917392777264,"sku":"51c4af2c-8998-4ac1-b3ea-41c222187c96","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50917392810032,"sku":"1b4bd903-7bb2-48ce-abab-612c431e6efc","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50917392842800,"sku":"dc6be5d9-54c2-4d10-a589-bd3a43450c1c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50917392875568,"sku":"d48bde42-a8f1-48ed-9c7b-5a7179861a1c","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50917392908336,"sku":"8b14bf2c-8766-428d-bae2-c8a88fece29b","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50917392941104,"sku":"1b6253a5-f242-49ea-b301-66ddf54cea50","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/5b77e9c6-b605-47ea-a6f0-620428a1c798.png?v=1793318891","url":"https:\/\/snarkattackco.com\/products\/the-team-player-mug","provider":"Snark Attack Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}