{"product_id":"the-unsolicited-livestock-mug","title":"The \"Unsolicited Livestock\" Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCorporate culture and virtual team-building initiatives endlessly encourage \"personal check-ins\" and casual icebreakers under the guise of humanizing the workforce.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Management adores when employees share glimpses of their home lives,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e assuming every weekend project is a delightful addition to department morale.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e But in every organization,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e there is a \"Glenn\"—a colleague who interprets basic politeness as an open invitation to hijack every morning stand-up,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e Slack channel,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and pre-meeting lobby with unsolicited,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e hyper-detailed updates on his backyard coop,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e egg yield,\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e and poultry management strategy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFeaturing a detailed graphic of a barnyard hen paired with the ultimate, hyper-specific reality audit—\"No one likes your chickens, Glenn.\"—this mug elevates the decisive termination of tedious workplace small talk into an exercise in high-society satire. It translates an urgent demand for conversational focus into a stately administrative boundary, reminding the room that personal homesteading reports are strictly non-essential operational data.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eKeep it front and center on your desk during morning stand-ups, virtual icebreakers, or department-wide coffee syncs, and sip hot dark roast from it while quietly grounding Glenn's agricultural ambitions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eThe Specs (Since someone is bound to ask):\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003e11oz Capacity:\u003c\/b\u003e Holds enough caffeine to sustain your focus through Glenn's third unprovoked coop update of the morning.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eHigh-Quality White Ceramic:\u003c\/b\u003e Smooth, solid, and engineered with significantly more structural substance than Glenn's unwanted agricultural anecdotes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMicrowave \u0026amp; Dishwasher Safe:\u003c\/b\u003e Because entertaining endless backyard poultry updates—or spending energy handwashing dishes in the breakroom sink—is strictly off the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePermanent, Vibrant Print:\u003c\/b\u003e The crisp chicken graphic and targeted reality check won't fade, no matter how many fresh eggs Glenn tries to feature across the fiscal year.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/b\u003e 96mm tall and 80mm wide. Ergonomically shaped to hold with pinky-out authority while shutting down irrelevant small talk.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ci\u003eDeflate the homestead. Add to Cart.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Snark Attack Co.","offers":[{"title":"Ceramic Yellow","offer_id":50928165552176,"sku":"5bec20c9-5ea7-40c6-bdd9-70fd919f0496","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Pink","offer_id":50928165584944,"sku":"08617f49-7ad9-4b73-8d9d-d6b70378b375","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Green","offer_id":50928165617712,"sku":"6a596a2d-3750-4224-94d8-4019b6511f59","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Red","offer_id":50928165650480,"sku":"daa5eca4-908f-44ac-a9f3-58a45d6e6477","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Black","offer_id":50928165683248,"sku":"b99455f0-c4b6-4a08-b5c9-d0ea095d1267","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ceramic Blue","offer_id":50928165716016,"sku":"e9c96049-7604-45f7-bb3d-9d7c455c741a","price":14.26,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0788\/9328\/5424\/files\/c841e234-a079-4f5e-a34a-bdfc73da86a3.png?v=1793467135","url":"https:\/\/snarkattackco.com\/products\/the-unsolicited-livestock-mug","provider":"Snark Attack Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}